Expressing milk to feed a baby is very time consuming. Several people, other mums as well as health professionals, have winced sympathetically and ask how (on Earth) I’m coping when I give them the answer to their question ‘Breast or bottle?’. I guess I’ve been coping because I’ve felt I have to. But the expressing, sterilising and feeding combined takes a huge chunk out of my day (and night) – I’ve estimated perhaps 8-9 hours out of 24… But the worst bit is maybe the fact that I never know whether I’ll be able to express when I need to, as Jessica (naturally) demands my attention as and when without taking her food supply into consideration. And then there’s the issue of appointments and meeting up with people, when I not only have to try to slot in feeding but also the expressing in between. I’ve been walking around aching quite a few times already, additionally worrying that my body will take the ‘lack’ of demand as a signal to start cutting down on the supply.
But a GP, a paediatrician and my health visitor have now (independently) suggested that there might still be a chance of persuading Jessica to succesfully feed straight from the source. I’d assumed too much time would have passed of solely expressing (5 weeks now) for there to be a way ‘back’. But I could so do with freeing up some of that time, plus less of the worry of bringing milk and bottles everywhere for her feeds, making sure we have enough bottles and teats sterilised and ready at all times and not having to worry whether I’ll get a chance to express in time for the next feed. So I finally decided to call the breastfeeding counsellor my health visitor and a friend of Ian’s sister (again independently) had given me the number to a few weeks back.
I spoke to the counsellor today. She wanted to hear about Jessica’s previous behaviour when breastfeeding and was curious to hear that Jessica would first attach properly, then feed for maybe five minutes, at which point she’d come off the breast and become frustrated when trying to get back on again. The counsellor was at first a bit hesitant about the possibility of getting Jessica back to breastfeeding. It wasn’t so much the time passed since stopping breastfeeding that was the issue as Jessica’s age, she said, as up to 6 weeks babies have this instinct to feed from the breast – an instinct Jessica would now have grown too old for. She was therefore very interested to hear that I’d tried breastfeeding as late as a couple of times in the last week (the first one was in hospital last weekend while waiting to see the paediatrician) and that Jessica – as in the past – initially had latched on successfully and fed for about five minutes both times. In that case, the counsellor said, it might actually still be possible.
She suggested that next time Jessica is due a feed, I put her to my breast first and let her feed for as long as she likes but when she comes off the breast I don’t try to put her back on but offer her a bottle of expressed milk instead. This to make it a ‘no pressure’ situation. Before actually offering the bottle, though, I should pick her up and walk her around the room, so that the association ‘going off breast’/’being offered bottle’ isn’t created. Also, she wanted to meet us to study Jessica’s behaviour for herself, so we decided to meet up tomorrow (Friday) morning.
I tried breastfeeding Jessica the way the counsellor had suggested pretty much as soon as I got off the phone with her, as Jessica then decided it was time to ask for food. She latched on and stayed on for 12 minutes (!) and at least for part of that time I could hear proper, gulping noises… And when I’d walked her around and offered her a bottle, she had only about half the size of one of her normal feeds… Maybe there actually is hope for us. (I guess I’ll let you know.)
Gabriella