Conrad’s blog

The kids are taking an even bigger interest in each other now, and Conrad’s big sister is showing less signs of jealousy. Almost from start, Jessica would sometimes make cranking noises to copy Conrad when he cried, but nowadays there’s not so much of that – instead she giggles too when he giggles. Like when I ‘hoist’ Conrad up in the air or hold him upside down resting against my lower legs (though gently, as he’s still quite little…), or when Ian plays ‘Row, row, row your boat’ with Conrad on his lap.

Conrad follows Jessica around the room with his eyes, smiles and giggles at her when she looks back and when she talks to him. Jessica keeps bringing things over to him – mostly soft toys (thankfully!), which she sometimes tries to give him to grab with his hand (though he obviously doesn’t) or bury him in, and one of his blankets, though unfortunately she still seems mainly interested in putting it over his head.

We’ve sat Conrad in front of the control panel toy a few times and now he’s getting pretty good at whacking the buttons to start a tune. When the music starts to play, Jessica will sometimes start to bounce up and down to dance to it. Though sometimes she’ll prefer to muscle in to press the buttons herself – being quicker and more accurate, Conrad doesn’t really stand a chance when she does. I can see more situations like that come up in future, with Jessica being ahead and Conrad presumably rather frustrated at times… (The trick will be how we deal with it each time.)

On the 10th September, a Wednesday, instead of Jessica going to spend the day with farmor and farfar, farmor and farfar came over to ours, ‘escaping’ the house while their boiler was replaced and for a chance to see Conrad again. Which meant that Mummy got to go out and get her hair cut while Daddy and grandparents entertained the two kids!

In the afternoon we drove over to Tilgate Park, a bit of a favourite of ours (as you may have gathered…), as it’s not too long a drive and pretty inexpensive. After Conrad having had a feed and Jessica a bit of a run around, we went for a coffee. Conrad and Jessica were having a really good ‘chat’ with each other, with lots of eye contact smiles and noises, great to see!

Yesterday Sunday (14th September), I noticed Conrad watching his hands for the first time. He was studying them really intently, with that baffled look on his face which he so often has, turning them around and grabbing them. Then he spotted my hand too and held a couple of my fingers, watching it with great interest. It was lovely to watch, only a shame that it was at 3am and he was supposed to be nodding off to sleep after a feed…

Gabriella

Time really is going quickly. Conrad’s already three months old – amazing…! To ‘celebrate’ (well, Ian had the week off and we wanted to take the opportunity of making a few family outings) we went down to Brighton for the day.

Ian and I spent a couple of hours sorting out stuff and loading the car in the morning, and realised that with more than one child you definitely have to bring a ridiculous amount of stuff – we hadn’t really believed our friends telling us that in the past, but it really is true…!

We set off and Conrad fell asleep almost straight away. It took us about 50 minutes from our door to having parked up, in a covered car park not too far from the sea front, and Conrad slept through it all pretty much from start – he’s still little enough to be nicely soothed to sleep by being on the move.

First stop was the sea front and then the pier. By the time we reached the sea on foot, Conrad was asleep again and missed the experience of lapping waves, diving seagulls and his excited big sister running around shrieking and giggling at the sight of so much water all in one place… We had our packed lunch on a bench on the pier, and halfway through it, Conrad stirred in his seat at the back of the double buggy, spotted me and then lie there smiling for quite a while, completely forgetting that he was well due HIS lunch. Conrad and I stayed on the bench for his bottle, while Daddy and big sister took a little walk, and my little boy got some admiring looks from an elderly lady on the next bench and a few passing couples.

One of the reasons we had brought so much, was that we took both the double buggy and the bigger, more comfortable of the single pushchairs plus the Baby Björn – the strategy being that the double buggy would do for the morning but after lunch, when Jessica might be very tired from not having had a nap yet, we could swap to putting Jessica in the comfier pushchair and Conrad in the carrier.

As it happened the plan worked out really well. After Conrad had finished his lunch we went back to the car park and swapped the buggies over. Conrad got strapped to Daddy’s chest in the Baby Björn, facing forward this time, and he really enjoyed it! While we walked down the wide street along the sea front he was looking around all wide-eyed and smiley. As it was spotting a bit, Ian had tucked him into his weather-proof jacket a bit, and we could tell from the faces of people we met – first surprise and then smile – that the sight of a little baby’s head peering out of a man’s jacket wasn’t exactly what most people expected…!

The afternoon’s activity was a visit to Sea Life Centre. Jessica was taken out of the pushchair to walk around with Daddy and we lowered the back of the pushchair to make it as flat as possible for Conrad to lie in. He wasn’t entirely happy about being put in the pushchair, but it was a tired grizzle. I kept walking up and down with him, a muslin hanging from the front of the hood to block out any bright lights. I also rolled up a couple of muslins, one on each side of his head, partly to support his head and partly to muffle the noise from other visitors. After five minutes or so, Conrad was asleep.

We stopped at the Centre café on our way out, for a drink and a snack, and Conrad woke up just nicely to have his next bottle. On the way back to the car he was happily bobbing away on Daddy’s chest again (his sister falling asleep in the pushchair) taking in the sights and back in the car again, he slept all the way home.

Most outings and activities will at the moment for natural reasons be mainly for Jessica’s benefit, but we’re so looking forward to when Conrad is that little bit older and can join in. At the moment, the slightest thing can excite him, which is wonderful – he doesn’t need a lot of entertaining, in a way, as a bold pattern, or a face, or something moving, can completely engross him. It’s nice to be reminded of the little things in life.

Gabriella

Sunday 7 September, Ian’s parents – Conrad’s farmor and farfar – came over to babysit Conrad and his sister for a few hours, while Ian and I went out for Sunday lunch just the two of us. Before we left, we tried to fill Ian’s parents in on everything we could think of regarding Conrad, as they had never minded him in our absence before. Then at 4pm – after our dessert but before our coffee – we realised that we hadn’t made up Conrad’s next feed, and with two different kinds of bottles in the steam steriliser, we couldn’t be sure that Ian’s parents would know which teat to match with which bottle, nor where Conrad’s milk was… So Ian stepped out of the restaurant for a quick phone call to his Mum and she made up the bottle whilst they were chatting.

On our return, Ian and I were very happy to hear that all had gone well and our two kids had behaved very well indeed. Conrad had even fallen asleep on his farfar’s lap and snoozed there for half an hour – something he never does with me (in fact, in the afternoon, Conrad finds it hard to settle for a nap, even though he obviously needs it, and I’m not sure yet how to help him there).

Conrad’s started doing a few more little things that keeps us aware of how he’s growing and developing. He now deliberately (if not accurately) bashes the toys in the baby gym, whacks the buttons on the control panel toy to play tunes (when it’s put in front of him within reach, of course) and giggles when lifted up high in the air. He responds well to a few of the rattles we have, when held up in front of or above him – the noise and look of them seem to fascinate him (and can distract him if he’s a little cranky).

And Jessica and Conrad have started interacting more, which is absolutely wonderful to see! Conrad will watch Jessica with great interest, and often when she walks up to him he’ll smile and giggle and make sounds. For a while now, Jessica has brought him toys or a blanket (though she often seems to prefer to put the latter over his head – on the other hand Conrad just laughs and doesn’t seem to mind at all), and liked to rock his baby bouncer for him (sometimes slightly too vigorously, so we have to tell her to go gently) – often when he cries, so it seems like she wants to comfort him.

And the last few days – this is the best of all and makes me so chuffed! – Jessica has crouched down next to him, so her face ends up in front of his, and chatted away. Conrad has responded by looking at her, smiling and making noises too. The siblings are already having ‘conversations’! The best bit is the mutual interest – although there still is the competition over our attention (more deliberately so on Jessica’s part, of course), they enjoy watching what the other one does and to take part in some way.

A few photos from our morning walk to the park (Ian is off this week, otherwise it’s normally just me and the kids):

Gabriella

It’s been ages since he last post now – something I never intended – and it feels like so much has happened…! First of all, I have to let you know that Conrad isn’t colicky anymore, actually not since we had that lovely evening on the 14th (blog entry from August 16). He will still cry, of course: when he’s hungry, bored or tired. (He used to cry sometimes when hiccuping too, but he hasn’t hiccuped much the last couple of weeks.)

We have a bit of a bed-time routine now: after Jessica has gone to bed (Ian puts her in bed every evening nowadays), I change Conrad into his pyjamas and gro bag, warm a bottle of formula for him and then bring him upstairs to our bedroom, where the curtains already are drawn since earlier. The idea is to start ‘night time’ by sitting somewhere darker and quieter, and not too far from his cot, for his bed time bottle. At this point, Conrad’s usually quite tired and it’s a bit difficult to try to persuade him to have at least most of his bottle so he won’t wake up too soon from hunger. I sit on our bed and feed him, and shift position every so often to stir him a little, then after a while I have to resort to more ‘cruel’ methods, like tickling him: under his foot and big toe, on his chin or ear are good spots… When he’s definitely not going to have any more, I wait another 15 minutes, so he won’t stir and throw up, before I put him in bed.

We’ve had a few more nights with Conrad sleeping from 8/9pm to 2/3am, which has been lovely. When he has a feed during the night, he tends to doze off again after having had a bout half a bottle. Like always after a feed, I sit with him on my lap for about 15 minutes before tucking him back in bed.

The last weekend of August, my sister Malin came to visit and became the first of my side of the family to meet Conrad. Malin arrived on the Friday evening, when both Conrad and Jessica were tucked up in bed, but the following day (Saturday 30 August), Malin and I took Conrad with us into London for the day, as Malin wanted to take the opportunity to go shopping in Upton Park while she was here.

A bit of a set up, I must confess – Conrad doesn’t deliberately hold his own bottle, it was kind of placed in his hands…

It was a hot day and the tube and Upton Park area were noisy, so perhaps not the best first experience of London for Conrad. He slept through the journey on train and tube and some of our time in Upton Park, and had a nice, relaxed feed on a bench in the shade while my sister popped into a fabric shop. But Conrad became restless after then – probably bored by lying in the pram and not coping too well with the heat and the noise (some of the shops were pumping out loud music and the streets were bustling with traffic and people) – and started to cry. I walked him up and down the street in the pram, while my sister popped into various shops, but Conrad found it hard to settle more than intermittently. In the end, it was a bit of a relief to be on the train back home to Horley, although Malin managed to get a good amount of shopping done and it was nice for me to be out and about for a bit.

Malin took a few photos of me and the kids while she was here, too:

Gabriella

The following night was very much the same, I’m happy to say – the only difference was that I heard Conrad stir a bit at about 1.45am, so I snuck over to check on him. He was making little noises and moving around, but asleep still, so I thought I shouldn’t assume that he wanted a feed and whisk him out of bed to try to preempt him crying, but wait and see if he would wake up properly. As his legs were moving a lot, though, and the blankets are tricky to secure down the sides of the cot, I sat by his cot for a while and held a corner of the blankets, so he wouldn’t kick them off and wake up from the change in temperature.

I waited for about 20 minutes but he didn’t wake up and he didn’t cry, and after that he started to seem more settled again, so I went back to our bed. Next thing I knew it was 2.20am, I checked on Conrad and he was sound asleep. Had he woken up properly and cried it would definitely have roused me, so that’s another confirmation that he probably actually doesn’t need food during the night anymore…

That doesn’t mean I’m denying him night feeds, though, of course! The following nights he has slept for 4-4.5 hours before stirring for the first time, but then has cried, and after I’ve checked that his blankets are on, he hasn’t thrown up, or there is anything else obvious that has distressed him, I give him a bottle of milk. As I’ve heard, though, that automatically giving milk during the night to resettle a baby can lead to the baby in the long run not being able to settle without it, even if he or she isn’t hungry, I will try to be more attentive to whether it’s actually milk Conrad needs in future.

Yesterday (Thursday 21 August) we were invited over to one of the mums from the postnatal group I got to know when I’d had Conrad’s sister Jessica. I took Conrad and Jessica on the train in the double buggy and once in Redhill we were picked up at the station by the hostess and another mum. Last time they saw Conrad he was asleep most of the time, but as he nowadays spends more time awake he was put in a baby bouncer on the patio, surrounded by toys, toddlers and mums. He charmed a few of the mums with his smile and seemed fascinated by a couple of little teddies that were hanging on the frame of the baby bouncer and chatted to them for a while. The toddlers, five in total including his sister, left him to it most of the time, but one of the boys insisted on throwing him a little wooden brick – it hit the side of Conrad’s leg the once, the boy’s mum apologised profusely, but Conrad only smiled and took no notice.

When Ian turned up in the car to fetch the three of us about 4.45pm, Conrad was getting a bit fed up. He’d been awake all afternoon and it was only two hours since his last feed, but he started to cry a bit desperately. I have noticed in the last week or so that when Conrad gets tired, he doesn’t always simply drop off to sleep but gets upset and I’ve unwittingly rocked him to sleep a few times in the afternoon – he’s not been too interested in feeding and there’s nothing else obvious that is uncomfortable: he’s not showing any signs of tummy ache, for example – but when I rock him to try to soothe him he’s nodded off on my shoulder. This time, I prepared a bottle of formula just to be sure and was shown a quite corner upstairs to feed him. But he only had 30ml before falling sound asleep, so it seemed pretty clear that what he really had needed was just some help to switch off…

I had hoped, of course, that Conrad would be able to fall asleep regardless of almost any surroundings, noises and activity around him. We’ll just have to see how things go. Once asleep, he seems to be able to stay asleep through most things still, though, which of course is a good thing (and long may it continue…!). I take the kids to the park each morning nowadays and when we come back I leave Conrad in the pushchair in the hallway (Jessica’s leaving him to it now, too) and he carries on sleeping for up to three hours, unaffected of me banging cupboard doors or using the blender in the kitchen area right next to him, or the hoover going when the lady who cleans for us is around.

Gabriella

Last night Conrad slept from 9pm to 3.15am! Then he had a feed, went straight back to sleep and slept until 6am. His Mummy was very pleased, as it meant she got more sleep than she’s ever had in (her) living memory – slight exaggeration there, but probably about 6 hours’ worth. Wow…!

Gabriella

During the last week or so, Conrad’s been spending more time awake and displayed signs that he just might be turning into a happy little boy. He’s got an adorable smile and loves to chat – if you face him and smile he’ll produce all sorts of lovely, happy little noises, interspersed with little giggles. He particularly likes being stroked on the cheek – that produces the loveliest smile almost without fail…! He’s watching what’s going on around him even more, and now can start to cry from boredom, it seems – if left on his own for a while, he’ll sometimes protest, but when he is picked up or he gets a big smile and some attention, he’ll often cheer up again.

He didn’t like having his nappy changed at all in the beginning and would cry a bit throughout. Now it’s an opportunity to be sociable – he still wriggles an awful lot, but he’s all smiles and happy sounds. If he’s a little bit grumpy, it can be just the thing to perk him up again…

Due to a bit of an emergency at work, Ian called me to stay he’d have to stay late on Thursday (14 August) and wouldn’t be around for Jessica’s bedtime. It got me worried, as Conrad has been colicky from about 4pm for a while now, and I really rely on Ian to be home to play with Jessica and give her her dinner while I do my best to settle Conrad. Ian phoned his Mum, who thankfully was available to pop over to help out from about 6.15pm, which would cover the bedtime bit (I was dreading having to get Jessica ready for bed and settled with Conrad crying throughout downstairs), and I was glad I’d already prepared her dinner.

As it happened, Conrad didn’t get colicky that afternoon, evening or night. He was happy during most of it (when not asleep), chatting and giggling away, and melting his farmor completely with his little smile. Jessica played happily, with farmor there to give her extra attention, and nicely in time for Jessica’s bedtime Ian turned up, as the work he needed to do had got postponed. It turned out a brilliant evening – dare I start hoping it was only a little taster of things to come…?

Well, we need a new sofa, the walls desperately need painting and apologies for the washing hanging all over the living room, but I still thought I’d share this lovely, non-colicky moment with you using visuals too…

Gabriella

Conrad had his first jabs Wednesday (6 August). We first saw one of the doctors at our local surgery, who examined Conrad to check that his hips, testicles, spine, head and heart were all fine, which they were. The doctor seemed very experienced and calm, and was talking to Conrad all the time during the process (although of course really letting me know what he was doing): “now I am stretching and bending your legs to check that your hips are aligned nicely and that your legs are working as they should, and everything is bending in the right direction, isn’t it?” and “now I’m lifting you up to check the strength of your neck, and that’s very good isn’t it – what’s it like flying, is the view good?”. It was quite funny, actually. Conrad was very good and didn’t cry, wee on the doctor or throw up on him either.

After the examination the jabs followed. I had been dreading those – and the following night(s)… At 8 weeks of age, babies in the UK get two jabs, one in each thigh, for ‘Diphtheria, Tetanus, whooping cough, inactivated polio vaccine, Haemophilus influenzae b (Hib) and Pneumococcal’. Obviously it hurts to get a needle in your leg and probably comes as a bit of a shock to a little baby too, which makes you feel really bad as a parent for putting them through it… On the other hand, the jabs are over with quickly (and any potential side effects relatively quickly), whereas any illness resulting from not having the vaccinations would be much more serious. But the side effects, as probably a lot of you reading this know, can involve restless nights with lots of crying and fever, which isn’t great for anyone involved.

The nurse who gave Conrad his jabs was very calm and friendly and didn’t make any unnecessary fuss (which tends to make it worse). Conrad was sitting sideways on my lap and cried straight away after the first jab, then when I turned him around so that he could get his second jab in the other thigh, he was quiet for a brief moment until his second one. He didn’t cry for quite as long as I had expected afterwards – as I sat with him on my lap while the nurse completed her notes in Conrad’s little red book he calmed down. I still stopped off for a while in the waiting room on the way out to give him a bit of formula – feeding after the jabs at this young age is recommended (comfort eating, basically). On the way home, Conrad seemed quite content, even smiled at me from his pram.

The night after wasn’t great. Conrad was acting colicky, crying at times so much that he seemed to not be quite in control, from about 5pm to 8.30pm. It wasn’t non stop, but every time he’d managed to calm down and start to drift off to sleep (which was difficult to achieve in the first place), it was in my arms but as soon as I moved the slightest he’d stir and start crying all over again. We gave him Calpol (baby paracetamol) a couple of times, only the smallest baby dose, just in case he was in pain even though he didn’t have a temperature.

Last night was very good: Conrad woke up at 3-hour intervals for feeds and then went straight back to sleep after. A reaction to the jabs may still come the next couple of nights, though, so we’re not sure it’s over with just yet.

The night before the jabs, Conrad had fed at 7.30pm, then fallen asleep about 9-ish, to not wake up for his next feed until 1.40am – I was quite pleased with that, maybe especially since I got 4 hours sleep in one go…! I have put Conrad in his cot awake but calm several times now, and he’s been lying there looking around himself, moving his arms and legs without crying, until he’s fallen asleep. That’s very promising, as we of course don’t want him to rely on being held and rocked to go to sleep and the latter is more often the case when he’s colicky…

Conrad makes all sorts of noises now – when he’s awake and in the baby bouncer he sounds like he’s chatting away to himself and sometimes giggling, and sounding awfully cute with it too…!

Gabriella

On Saturday (2nd August) we had a marathon colic session – 8 hours worth from 2 to 10pm… It wasn’t solid crying, thankfully: Conrad seemed to start to settle and drift off in-between, but if he got stirred the slightest it started all over again. Most of the time nothing I tried would help, until just before 7pm, when I held him across my lap and jiggled him using very fast, small movements.

At that point, Conrad’s aunt Wendy arrived with her boyfriend Graham, as they’d agreed to babysit for Ian and I while we went down to a local pub to meet up with our friends Richard and Cara for our first evening out together in a very long time (and my first alcoholic drink since getting pregnant with Conrad…!). Conrad drifted off in my arms while I was chatting to Wendy and Graham, but unfortunately as soon as I went to put him in his cot, he stirred and started to cry again…

I had another couple of attempts but it seemed impossible for me to settle him for the night. Wendy offered to give it a go so that Ian and I could go and meet our friends and we left Conrad in her capable hands. When we came back around three hours later, Wendy told us that Conrad had cried on and off for another 45 minutes but then fallen asleep in her arms, in the sofa in front of the telly. “Hustle (TV series) seems to do the trick!”, she told us.

From being so exhausted, I would assume, Conrad slept really well the rest of the night and a good chunk into the morning – waking for his feeds every three hours but then going straight back to sleep, which meant I got a bit more sleep than usual too. Then the following night he wasn’t colicky at all – seems he must have done two nights’ worth in one go… Yesterday (Monday 4 August) evening he was colicky for his more usual 4 hours, from 4 to 8pm, and drank lots of formula. As he started to nod off I fell asleep briefly holding him on the sofa and when I woke up about 15 minutes later he was sound asleep, so I put him in bed, which he didn’t seem to notice. The rest of the night he slept in 4-hour chunks and woke up for his feeds at 12.15 and 4.30am. I’m not expecting him to start sleeping through the night just yet, but at least he seems to be able to go for that little bit longer already.

There is some advice that one can start a bedtime routine at this age (or even earlier), but we have decided to leave that until Conrad’s colic has passed (that is, if it happens within the next couple of months – it could of course take longer, which would mean we’d reevaluate things a bit).

Gabriella

Conrad feels much less fragile and more ‘solid’ now. He makes eye contact and smiles more and more (whenever he’s not troubled by stomach pains or by having thrown up…). When I’m feeding him, he likes to keep eye contact with me, so I meet his gaze and chatter away at him. Every so often he’ll raise his left eyebrow, as if to say “Really? Are you sure?”. Generally he’s awake more now during the day (apart from a 4-hour sleeping session around 9/10am to 1/2pm) and will sit in the baby bouncer, moving his arms and kicking his legs quite happily at times looking around the place, though he does seem to prefer leaning against my shoulder and I try to let him do that as much as possible – it’s lovely to just sit and hold him, he’s so tiny and soft…

He really is a tall little boy: he takes up almost the entire length of the carry cot already, so we’re starting to wonder what we’re supposed to put him in soon – he’s only 7 weeks going on 8, so actually not quite two months old yet! Every time we’ve given him a bath so far, he’s cried when lowered into it (presumably due to being taken by surprise a bit) but then quietened down quite quickly. A lot of boy’s clothes have phrases like’ Daddy’s/Mummy’s little monster’ or just ‘little monster’ on them, but ‘monster’ was actually Ian’s nickname for Conrad’s sister – Conrad’s Daddy refers to him as ‘man cub’.

Conrad and I had a day on our own yesterday (Wednesday 30th July), as Jessica spent the day at farmor and farfar’s. We didn’t do anything much exciting, though, I’m afraid, apart from being able to take things at a different pace and going food shopping. It was lovely to have a day when I could concentrate on Conrad, though. He still spends most of his days sleeping, but I’m concerned that he won’t get enough of my attention on a regular basis as he starts to pay more active attention to the world around him. Hopefully I will find a way to share my attention well between Conrad and his sister.

Conrad’s colic is still going strong, though we’ve had the odd peaceful night without it (wish I knew what’s been different on those occasions…!). It can start as early as 4pm, if he has a feed then, and carry on for 2-4 hours. Or he’ll have a few colicky hours during the evening, night or morning. Often he’s got two lots, poor thing. It’s not always continuous crying but can be on and off, but he can cry desperately when he has stomach pains – his tummy is hard like the skin on a drum, he pulls his legs up and gets red in the face.

Most of the time I manage to find a way of rocking Conrad which does seem to soothe him, at least for a while, sometimes helping to send him off to sleep. Holding him upright against my shoulder, or in front of me facing me with his back against the length of my lower arm, whilst ‘waltzing’ about the place in long sweeping steps is a favourite. Or holding him across my lap and him facing me with both my arms for support (almost as if I were about to breastfeed him), rocking him either using very small, fast movements or slower movements letting him ‘fall’ towards the floor. But I’m sure that whatever I do serves more as a distraction than anything else – most things seem to work only for a little while before I have to try something else. But if I can at least distract him a bit, it’s worth it.

Gabriella