Conrad’s blog

Yesterday (18 June), being a Wednesday, Conrad’s big sister Jessica was with Ian’s parents all day, which meant that Conrad’s Mummy and Daddy got a whole day on their own with him. Ian and I needed to do some shopping, so we bundled our whole family into the car and headed off to Redhill, to drop Jessica off at farmor and farfar’s (paternal grandmother and grandfather) and give Conrad a feed before we put Conrad in the pram and trotted off to Redhill town centre. Conrad slept through most of the shopping trip, including our lunch at a café in the Belfry shopping centre.

In the afternoon, the three of us got in the car again and headed to the registry office in Reigate, where we had an appointment to register Conrad’s birth. He quite contentedly slept through that whole session too, not paying any attention to becoming ‘official’. It was strange to see his name in print on the two birth certificates: the shorter, free one and the full one (including Mummy and Daddy’s details), which cost £3.50 and which we need to get Conrad a passport. He’s now definitely Conrad Sebastian Lillsunde-Read – a bit of a mouthful perhaps, and a few comments in reaction to his name have been “oh, that’s posh!”. But we’ve had just as many people saying it’s a lovely name and he’ll just be Conrad, really. We don’t think his name is particularly posh and that certainly wasn’t what we were aiming for – we just liked the name Conrad, it works in both English and Swedish (which was very important to Ian and me), it’s unusual but still very recognisable, and I also like the fact that it’s a bit old fashioned.

Today we just had a quiet day at home. When Jessica had her nap in the morning, Ian and I took the opportunity of giving Conrad his first ever bath. Ian made sure to run the bath water nice and warm. Conrad cried when Ian lowered him into the water, probably because of the unexpected sensation, but it didn’t take him long to calm down and just look perplexedly around him. I used a natural sponge to wash him all over with warm water (we have been recommended to not use anything else when washing him for the first 4-6 weeks) while Ian held him. We didn’t make the bath last very long, as it was the first time and we didn’t want to let him get cold.

In the afternoon Ian had his first go at bringing the two kids out in the double buggy on his own, going food shopping while I stayed at home to hoover for the first time since Conrad’s birth.

Unfortunately, Conrad has been finding it hard to settle night time, between around 9pm and midnight he has cried a lot, seemingly complaining about stomach pains and/or wind, and I’ve done my best to try to burp and soothe him, holding him and rocking him, but only with very temporary results. Last night, however, he seemed more at ease, got a bit restless around 8pm but was soothed by me rocking and singing to him and fell asleep around 10pm, to wake again at 1 for his next feed.

It’s distressing to see him uncomfortable and frustrating that I can’t take his pain away. I give him Infacol in the evening and during the night before feeds to aid his burping, but daytime he seems fine, burps really well and only complains when he wants milk, and occasionally when he has kicked his blanket off or thrown up. It affects my sleep too, of course, which isn’t great, as I’ll need to keep going for both Conrad and his sister as soon as Ian’s back at work on Tuesday – at the moment, Ian still gets up to take care of Jessica whenever she wakes up in the mornings, which means that I have been able to stay in bed for a little bit and try to rest some more.

I’m thinking it’s a case of me and Conrad (and Ian, as he in spite of earplugs gets disturbed nights too) to stick it out for 3-4 months, and then hopefully Conrad will be better. I can’t help thinking that if Conrad was to get help so that he can breastfeed, he might not gulp as much air down and perhaps not get as windy, if that’s the problem. He does throw up a fair amount day and night, not so that he’s not getting enough food, but perhaps this is for the same reason. I have an appointment for Conrad and his tongue to be assessed on Tuesday morning, and will of course let you know what the outcome is.

Right now (8.25pm), Conrad’s asleep in Daddy’s arms in the sofa, in front of the UEFA quarter final match between Germany and Portugal. Guess he’s that little bit too little still to be enthused by football…

Gabriella

For today we’d decided that Ian would get a lie-in and I would get up and look after both our little kiddies all morning. The prospect was a bit daunting, but I thought I’d rather try out being on my own with Conrad and Jessica for only a few hours the first time, while Ian was in the house still and could be called on should things go terribly wrong… As it happened, I had a lovely morning (apart from getting up at 4am…!): Jessica and Conrad co-ordinated themselves really nicely for me, so that I never had to be torn between who to run to first.

Conrad woke at 4am, had a feed and was put back in his cot. Then I expressed some milk for his next feed and quickly got dressed, as at about 5am I could hear Jessica stir. As the morning was a bit cool in our house, I snuck into her room and put her blanket back over her without her noticing me, and after a while she seemed to settle again. At that point I was feeling a bit too awake and – to be perfectly honest – nervous about the morning to come, so I started to prepare as much as I could of Jessica’s and my own breakfast, filling the kettle ready to boil water to warm Conrad’s next bottle, putting a load of washing on, etc.

I had a bit of a lie-down again before I, at about 6.30am, fished Conrad out of his cot and brought him downstairs for a nappy and clothes change and a wash. As he started to wake up he realised he was hungry, so I stayed downstairs feeding him, with a hot water bottle warming the carry cot in the living room for him. As we were nearing the end of his feed, I could hear Jessica stir upstairs, chatting to herself, and after a little while I started hearing the thuds of books being pulled down from her bookshelf and landing on the floor. By the time I went to fetch Jessica (who miraculously had decided to have a lie-in until nearly 7am), Conrad was fed, content and snoozing away in his warm and snug carry cot and he didn’t stir at all all during Jessica’s nappy change, breakfast, bath and getting dressed.

I decided to be brave and make today the day for my first time out on my own with the two of them in the double-buggy too, doing some food shopping. It didn’t take quite as dreadfully long to get the three of us ready as I’d feared, though when I changed Conrad’s nappy I had to discard two additional nappies, as he decided to start weeing again every time I thought he was all done. How such a little bladder could hold so much, I have no idea…! Unfortunately it went all over his clean clothes too, me not being used to dealing with a little hose. But once Conrad and Jessica were in the buggy and out of the house, Conrad promptly fell asleep and Jessica was happily dangling her legs and watching the world around her. There were no complaints from either one of them in Waitrose either, though I did make sure to try to be as efficient as possible and the supermarket was pretty empty.

Back home, Jessica happily had her banana and morning bottle of formula and ran around playing while I fed Conrad again and changed his nappy, and by the time Ian made his way downstairs at 10.30am, I had had a banana too, plus a mug of tea (rarely heard of even in the days of only Jessica!), washed and sterilised Conrad’s bottles and the breast pump and even switched the PC on to quickly check my emails. I have a feeling this was all to lull me into a false sense of security… The timing of the two of them is bound to clash sooner rather than later but I’ll just have to deal with each morning and day as it comes and hope I make the right decisions.

Yesterday, Monday (16 June), I took Conrad with me to a Baby Café they have here in Horley for breastfeeding mums. It’s run by a lady from the NCT, who helped me get back to breastfeeding Jessica, and I was hoping to speak to her regarding Conrad (and not leave it as late as I did with his big sister), as he isn’t latching on yet to breastfeed. The Café is more of an informal gathering, housed in the side building to a local infant school, and when I got there (after getting a bit lost on the way, not having checked the address properly or brought a map, so Ian ended up giving me directions over the phone) Conrad and I received a very warm welcome and was ushered in to a small room crammed full of mums, toddlers and babies and bustling with activity, and I was promptly offered a mug of tea.

The NCT lady was very happy to speak to me and look at Conrad’s and my attempts at breastfeeding. It didn’t take her long to spot that Conrad wasn’t really using his tongue the way babies are supposed to. His tongue didn’t seem to reach out far enough, and when she put her finger in Conrad’s mouth she could feel his bottom gums against her finger and at the back it felt like his tongue was curled up – his tongue should be all stretched out to suck. She said she suspected ‘tongue tie’ or a similar problem – if Conrad’s tongue isn’t reaching far enough, he wouldn’t be able to latch on successfully, which would explain his frustration at my breast and why we haven’t got anywhere with the breastfeeding yet.

I got the phone number to an expert, as a professional opinion would be needed. If the NCT lady is right about what the problem might be, the remedy is straightforward and quick, though it sounds a bit drastic: making a slight cut underneath Conrad’s tongue, to allow it to stretch out further. She said it doesn’t really hurt and is very quick, that it could be done straight away after assessment and that I would get some breastfeeding coaching afterwards to help Conrad latch on. I am now waiting to hear back, to see how soon we can get an appointment – sooner rather than later would be best, of course.

Yesterday afternoon, Ian and I decided to go out and do something fun for Jessica, as she’s not been to nursery for a couple of weeks now and might be bored just kicking about our house. We hopped in the car – the first time with the two children in it at once – and drove to Donyngs in Redhill, where they have a big sports hall filled with bouncy castles, slides, an area full of plastic balls to play with, etc. Jessica had a whale of a time running around trying everything out together with Daddy, while little Conrad had a feed and quietly slept in my arms.

Gabriella

So we’ve reached the weekend of our first, slightly surreal week as a family of four…

After a night of not much sleep for any of us (except perhaps Jessica, who has got her own room) – with Conrad only wanting to settle in my arms and not sleep in his cot at all between 9pm and 2am and crying to put his point across – Friday night to Saturday was significantly better. The reason being that I realised (around 1.30am Friday morning) that Conrad was nice and snug from my body heat when in my arms but woke up from the cool of the bed linen in his cot as soon as I put him there. Out came the hot water bottle we used to put in Jessica’s bed in the early days, to warm the cot for 15-20 minutes before putting Conrad in it, plus a gro bag to keep Conrad nice and snug in transit between arms and bed, and it did the trick.

Conrad now feeds every 2.5 to 4 hours, between 70 and 100 ml each time. It’s mostly my breast milk now, as that’s come through now, but still through a bottle as Conrad’s not taken to breastfeeding yet. Saying that, he was the closest to latching on this afternoon than he’s ever been. Conrad is still slightly yellow (as you can see in the photos) and my midwife, who popped by briefly this morning, said not to worry about the breastfeeding but that Conrad would probably take to it once the jaundice has cleared. So I am trying not to worry, and also take my sister’s advice of making sure I relax when I try to breastfeed, in case Conrad’s picking up on me tensing up.

My midwife also weighed Conrad, who clocked 3.8 kilos on the scales. A slight weight loss since his birth but well within the acceptable 10 percent, I would assume largely due to the fact that we have not hesitated in giving Conrad a bottle. Whether he takes to breastfeeding or not in the end, ultimately the most important thing is that he’s getting fed.

Last night Conrad settled at 8pm, then woke up at 11pm, 3am and 5.30am. During the day, I stir him every 3 hours to see if he wants some food, in an attempt to help him adjust to our day/night routine and save more of his sleep for night time. He still sleeps most of the time, of course, and we’d completely forgotten what it was like to have a little person like that around. As Ian pointed out today, we sometimes almost forget that Conrad’s lying there in the carry cot in the corner, he’s so quiet…

Jessica is still fascinated with Conrad. She motions for us to lift her up to peer at him when we have the carry cot higher up on the grammophone in the corner of the living room (to try to avoid Jessica burying him in toys – she brings them over and offers them to him by putting them on him, so we have to watch her a bit) or when the carry cot is on the floor, she walks over herself to point and go: “Där! Där!” to show us this little person that we’ve obviously not noticed…

Thursday Ian’s Mum came over to stay with Jessica while Ian and I took Conrad over to the maternity ward at the hospital for his infant paediatric check. They checked his hips, spine, heart, etc., and noted the slight jaundice, but everything was absolutely fine.

Friday we took Conrad and Jessica out for the first time in the new double-buggy. We only went for a short stroll over to the park, for me to get some exercise and for Jessica to have a go on the swings. Later the same afternoon we had our first non-family visitors over to admire Conrad: our friend Cara and her little girl Daisy, about 2.5 months younger than Jessica.

Today, we had our second little outing with the double buggy, as we popped over to Ian’s sister Wendy’s new house not far from here. As Jessica was throwing various bottles into Wendy’s bath tub, pressing buttons on the oven in the kitchen, running around the garden throwing pebbles around and doing her best to hide her milk bottle in a bunch of ivy, Conrad had a leisurely afternoon drink and then chilled out in our arms. Sensible little man.

Gabriella

It was just the three of us yesterday morning, Gabriella and I still getting used to Conrad’s arrival. In the afternoon, my parents brought Conrad’s big sister Jessica back after her overnight stay with them – she’d woken up at 5.30am, so my parents were both feeling tired.

Following advice on how to try to limit sibling jealousy, we’d made sure not to be holding Conrad when Jessica arrived and had put the carrycot on the floor, so she could see him.

Jessica seemed quite excited and kept pointing at Conrad saying “There! There!” (but in Swedish). She turned to me to make sure I was looking too, before repeating “There! There!”
First contact having gone well, Gabriella and I gave Jessica the present from Conrad (a crocodile xylophone). She really seemed to like it and didn’t wait for Gabriella to unbox it properly before she started playing with it!

By this time my Mum was itching to get her hands on her grandson, so I passed Conrad over.

Then it was my Dad’s turn.

In the evening my sister, Conrad’s faster, popped round to meet him.

Today, as it was lovely, warm, summer’s day we spent some time in the garden. Partly so Conrad could soak some rays which’ll hopefully prevent jaundice, as we noticed today that his skin has turned a shade more yellow. We kept him in the shade under the parasol though, as direct sunlight would be too strong.

Jessica was happily running round the garden and playing at her sand table, but she did take a break now and then to peer at her brother.

After we came in from the garden, Conrad was content to just lie on my lap.

Last night, Gabriella was took care of Conrad, whilst I had earplugs so as to have a decent amount of sleep, ahead of getting up to look after Jessica (for any seasoned readers, she still waking up at 6am, sometimes before…) The plan is to do the same tonight.

Conrad’s feeding pattern is non-existent at the moment, sometimes it’s only 2 hours between feeds, other times the gap is 6 hours.

Time is getting on now and we’re probably going to have to go to bed soon. Pathetic isn’t it…!

Ian.

Our very punctual little baby boy was born on his due date, 9 June, at 7.40pm – at home in our living room as planned. He is lying asleep in a carry cot in our living room right now and as I write this I keep glancing over to admire him. His birth weight was 3.98 kilos (8lb 13oz) and he has, it seems, dark hair and dark eyes – the latter presumably dark blue these first few days but it’s hard to tell as they haven’t been open much. He has cried a few times already, especially during last night and early part of the morning, but calmed down as soon as he was picked up and held.

I have gone through the motions of breastfeeding a few times, too – not successfully so far, of course, as my milk has not come through yet and Conrad still doesn’t know what to do. At about midnight we prepared a bottle of formula, to make sure he wasn’t hungry, and he had about 20 ml. We’re pretty sure it all came back up again, though, as he was coughing up quite a lot of mucus in the night, but the milk probably helped the process of clearing his little tummy of whatever he swallowed during the birth.

Ian and I went to East Surrey Hospital just before 4am yesterday morning (Ian’s parents kindly scrambled out of bed to come over and wait in our house while Jessica was asleep upstairs), for me to get checked over after a small bleeding. But everything was fine – it turned out I had started to dilate already and the bleeding was only a signal that things were beginning to happen. And, sure enough, my contractions started not long after, although they stayed irregular throughout the morning. Ian’s parents went back home to catch up on some rest and Ian went to work, while I spent the day at home with Conrad’s big sister Jessica, making notes of the time between contractions. At about 12.30 my contractions were getting stronger and settled into a regular pattern of every 10 minutes, then every 5 minutes at about 3.30pm. Ian left work ten minutes early to hop in a taxi home. His parents had come over to ours again early afternoon, as the plan was for them to take Jessica home with them as soon as things started to happen in earnest, and while we were waiting for the two on-duty midwives to arrive, we started to clear the living room.

The midwives, Hazel and Liz, arrived and settled themselves in pretty quickly. They were relaxed, friendly and professional and made us feel at ease straight away. They left me pretty much to it as my contractions started to increase in strength and intensity, but stepped in to monitor the baby’s heart beat and my blood pressure and pulse every so often. All was progressing well – apart from the increasing pain, of course, for my part…! Ian gently rubbing my lower back, a warm bath and then gas and air helped ease it when it started to become difficult to cope with.

Both Ian and I were so chuffed that we could have the home birth we wanted and that everything went well. Conrad’s cord was short and looped across the back of his shoulders, so every time I pushed, he pulled in the opposite direction, which made things extra tough. But when – with excellent support form the midwives and Ian – I managed to find that extra bit of strength from somewhere, things happened very quickly until, suddenly, there he was, in my arms. He quietly peered at Ian and me with his big dark eyes, presumably thoroughly confused as to where he was, who we were and what was going on.

The midwives did a few checks, packed up, ran me a bath and then left us to it and Ian and I spent the rest of the evening on a bit of a high, looking at Conrad, unable to believe that he was finally here with us! Conrad spent his first night (quite a warm one, after a hot and sunny summer’s day) with us in his cot in our bedroom.

The next few weeks and months are very likely going to be exhausting but so exciting – we’ll do our best to log Conrad’s progress here and hopefully you’ll enjoy reading about it!

Gabriella

A little note: Conrad has already lifted his head off our shoulders a couple of times this morning…!

Welcome to the baby blog of our new son. We aim to keep you up-to-date on his progress over his first year.