Jessica’s blog.

Like yesterday, Jessica woke earlier than usual. Yesterday it was at the unearthly time of 4.30 and despite a nappy change and a dose of Calpol, she didn’t want to go back to sleep. We think she came close but it didn’t quite happen, so Gabriella got up and Jessica had had a bottle of milk by 6am.This morning was slightly better (for us!) as she woke at 5.30am. After I’d put her blankets back over her and resettled her, she did eventually go back to sleep. At 7.30 she’d had enough and wanted to get up, so she was fished out and I fed her breakfast.

We happily played for a few hours and opened her presents – it was mainly me opening the presents whilst Gabriella sat with Jessica on her lap (the former having had a well-deserved lie-in) with Jessica showing little interest in them, with only one or two exceptions: she really seems to to like a box of plastic eggs (given by our friends Cara, Richard & Daisy) that squeak when pushed, once the shells have been removed – these apparently are great fun to throw all over the place.

Jessica had her morning milk slightly later than normal and went back to bed where, after several attempts to re-settle her, she went back to sleep.
We had to wake Jessica up just before 1, so she could have her lunch before we took her for her one year weigh-in.
She’s continuing to grow on the same upper curve on the chart and is 82cm (2′ 8.3″) and weighs exactly 12kg (26lb 6oz). Because she’s so tall, we’ve started to put her in clothes for 18 month to 2 years. Her trousers are ok for length but it’s the vests that are getting a bit small as she’s got a long body, just like me. The nurse at the drop-in centre said that Jessica’s weight/height is in proportion so there’s no need to worry.

By the time we’d got home, Jessica’s farmor and farfar had arrived and, after briefly dropping presents off (to be opened later…) we set off for Godstone Farm.

Jessica excited about another excursion!

Jessica seemed fascinated by the animals (as she’s previously been) and happily watched them. At Godstone Farm, there’re are pens where children can get in with the animals. Whilst we thought Jessica was a bit too small to go in the pens with lambs, Gabriella did take her in to get up close to a rabbit. Unfortunately, as the rabbit was just lying there, she didn’t see it and nearly trampled the poor thing in her attempt to see what was going on outside the pen!

Jessica was eager to run around lots but as the ground was fairly uneven, she stumbled several times but there was always one of us close by to catch her. In the end we decided that it was safer to hold her hand especially as the ground was sloping and she tended to lurch downhill.

As it’s Jessica’s birthday today this will be the last post, as our intention was to only document her first year here. We’ll continue posting photos in the gallery, so please do check when you have a chance.

Gabriella and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it and would like to thank you for you interest in keeping up to date with our delightful daughter’s progress so far.

Ian.

Ian and I had decided to make this a smaller occasion, as we’re both working and I’m pregnant: only family this time, and do the big kids’ party with lots of friends for Jessica’s second birthday. We also asked Ian’s parents, Jessica’s farmor and farfar, if we could hold the party at their house, as we weren’t sure how far they would have come with the damp-proofing works at our place.

On the day of the party, Ian and I had planned for the three of us to go over to Albert & Diana’s for 10am and let Jessica have her morning nap there while we got everything ready for the afternoon’s festivities. As it happened, Jessica started dozing off in my lap already during her morning bottle at 9.30am, so there’s was nothing else to do but to put her in her cot at home. Ian went ahead to his parents, while I stayed with Jessica. As we had had the foresight to prepare ahead – including putting up all the decorations the previous day (we had decided to go for a very simple ‘theme’: pink and silver) – there wasn’t too much left to do but to warm the food up for the buffet and assemble the two birthday cakes. So we hoped that Jessica would have a nice long sleep, to get her in as happy and alert a mood for the party as possible. And we were lucky: she had three hours sleep, then Ian came back home to have a quick lunch with us before we all went over to Redhill.

Diana’s cousin Rita with husband Clive, daughter Alison and Alison’s boyfriend Dan had arrived only a little while before us. They were a bit early as they’d set out early from Wolverhampton but both weather and traffic had been good and they’d decided to not worry about a break. Ian changed Jessica into her party dress and shoes (something she wasn’t very happy with), while I put the cakes together: sponge with strawberry jam and whipped cream with crushed meringue in between, and cream and a layer of pink marzipan on top – a variation of a recipe of my sister’s.

As the rest of our guests arrived, Ian took charge of warming the buffet food up, while Jessica and I went to greet them. It was my aunts Anette and Monica with their husbands Yngve and Hasse respectively plus Monica and Hasse’s daughter Helena, as well as my aunts’ cousin Inger and her husband Frank. Jessica got a little bit overwhelmed as they all bundled together into the little hallway as one big, happy, chatty crowd and started to cry. She soon perked up though, as people started to spread out through the house and she got used to the amount of people, and she was happily walking all by herself between the different rooms to have a look around, sit on someone’s lap or just do her usual thing of picking all the magnets off the fridge or trying to grab the owls off the lower shelf in the dining room or a handful of the soil in the plant pot on the floor by the French windows.

After people had finished their food it was getting a bit late in the afternoon, so we decided to bring the cakes out before Jessica’s energy started to flag and she’d need her dinner. We all gathered in the dining room and lit the little silver candle on one of the cakes. (I’d decided to keep the cake decoration simple: a dusting of icing sugar and one single candle in the middle to represent Jessica’s first year – I’m not great at complicated decorations and didn’t want to do something that might end up taking a lot of time. One thing I’d felt we didn’t do right for Jessica’s naming party was to run around too much getting things ready and not paying her enough attention during the morning on what was supposed to be her big day… I didn’t want to repeat that mistake.)

Everyone sang to her, first a joint ‘Happy birthday’ and then a Swedish ‘Ja, må hon leva’ complete (after some hesitation…) with four cheers at the end. Jessica looked a bit bewildered but not at all unhappy, and took great interest when Daddy was about to cut the cake – reaching for the knife, of course, and then intently watching him cutting the first slice.

After that, Jessica’s Auntie Wendy and farmor handed slices of cake out to all guests, while Jessica retired to the high chair in the kitchen for a bit of birthday dinner – a jar (again due to time restraints, I’m afraid…) of Caribbean veg with fruity rice but followed by a bit of birthday cake as a special treat. (We’re really careful about not giving Jessica any sugary food or drink and will try to keep that going for as long as we can – which probably won’t be as long as we’d like…!) Jessica wrinkled her nose at the first little piece – she didn’t seem sure about the sponge, so I made the next 2-3 spoonfuls mainly cream and strawberry jam (the latter sweetened with fruit juice, not sugar, so not as bad as it may sound). Then we finished off with a bit of banana, something she really likes.

My family left at about 6pm, whereas Rita, Clive, Alison and Dan stayed on for a bit longer before they started their journey back up to Wolverhampton. We all sat down in the living room for a chat while Jessica played, mainly pushing a baby gym-style frame back and forth across the floor between us. She was still in a good mood and Ian and I were chuffed that she had coped so well with the party, having so many people around her and being given so much attention. She had had lots of compliments for being so cute, for her smile, her pretty dress and shoes. And my cousin Helena pointed out that she too has just the one dimple and in her left cheek, just like Jessica, so we now know where that comes from!

Although February perhaps isn’t the loveliest time of year weather-wise, we were just as lucky with the weather as for the day of Jessica’s naming party: clear blue sky and fantastic sunshine! The perfect early spring day.

And so we have almost come full circle… It is so hard to imagine that there was a time before Jessica – her first year has gone so quickly and still it feels as if she has always been here with us. Soon the daffodils will be in bloom again, like they were last year during the first week after Jessica was born. Ian and I cannot imagine life without her now – she is the loveliest, most gorgeous and fun little girl we could ever have hoped for!

Gabriella

Jessica still has trouble settling for her day naps. Well, I don’t think she thinks of it as a problem: she’s having much too fun pulling herself up, walking about the cot rearranging the bedlinen and chatting to herself. But the result is that she gets tired and cranky, as she’s not allowing herself to relax, switch off and sleep. Well, correction, really, if anyone thinks she cries non-stop as a result, because she really doesn’t – she tries to be happy and cheerful and is glad to see us, but she has less patience with herself if she stumbles or falls over, which she does more often as she’s tired, and she’s more ‘clingy’. The best choice of activity is usually to sit down with her and look through a stack of books together.

After being a bit at a loss about what to do, I’ve now tried putting her to bed, kissing her and leaving the room as per usual, then coming back every ten minutes to tidy the cot up a bit and lay her down again. The first couple of times she’s quickly on her feet again but after a couple of times more, she starts to get too tired to pull herself up, and when eventually she is too tired to do so, she stays lying down and goes to sleep quite quickly (though not without a grumble – she’s inquisitive and loves to explore and finds restraints on that frustrating).

Someone suggested laying her down straight away after she’s stood up, but she’s so quick up on her feet that it would all turn into some sort of wrestling match, and I don’t want to do that – feels like I might as well tie her down with straps… So I let her get a bit of it out of her system each time instead. Feel a bit awkward still (insisting that she does something she obviously wants to do), but I have to realise that she’s too young to make the connection between tiredness and sleep, especially when there are so many other more fun things to be doing… I don’t like the expression ‘mother knows best’ as I don’t believe it’s necessarily true (depends on the mum, surely – being a mum doesn’t automatically make you wise, don’t I know it…!) , but in this instance I know I shouldn’t feel bad about insisting on what actually is best for her.

After having napped about 11am to 1.30/2pm over the weekend and a mere hour and a half midday yesterday (yes, I’m not even considering trying for an afternoon nap at this stage), she managed to fall asleep at about 9.40am today and is still asleep as I write this paragraph at 11.30am. She was very tired this morning, though: her Dad cheered her up by just being around but otherwise she kept starting to cry for no apparent reason and kept wanting to be carried, as if walking about under her own steam was too much. So I’m glad she’s getting some rest now. Her night-time rest – although I didn’t hear her being awake and I’ve not noticed her standing up in the cot during the night so far – maybe wasn’t very good.

We have now got Jessica a new cot, by the way. Ian bought it at a house clearance, so it’s second hand but in good condition. It’s a cot bed, so should last Jessica until she’s about 4, and is both bigger and lots sturdier than the cot she’s had up to now (which Ian has dismantled and will be tucked away until the new baby arrives early summer). That makes us feel more at ease now that she’s moving around in it so much. She’s really strong now – maybe that’s a general baby/toddler thing.

Her room isn’t ready yet, still – well, it seemed hardly any point before the new windows came in… But now we can sort it out properly. I’ll have to touch up the paint on the wall in a few places, then we’ll sort out curtains, a new overhead light and get some things up on the walls, maybe a rug on the floor: generally make her room more cosy and play-friendly…!

At the weekend, the weather was glorious – almost spring time with lovely clear-blue skies and no need for a jacket in the sunshine. The three of us had a nice, relaxed weekend at home. Saturday (9 February) afternoon, after Jessica had had her lunch, we put her in the pushchair and took a stroll over to a green area with a stream, Emlyn Meadows, that Ian had discovered not too far from where we live.

Jessica loved it of course: running around across the grass, dragging one of us behind her (we were reluctant to let her run/walk on her own, as the ground was sloping and really uneven in places). She picked up dry leaves, grass, little twigs and old, dirty chestnuts off the ground to - more often than not - put in her mouth. We couldn’t prevent her from chomping on everything, but we did our best with the muckiest things…!

She grumbled a bit when we put her back in the push chair to get her home for some afternoon formula, but seemed to sit back and enjoy the view almost straight away. We’re so looking forward to summer, when we can let her run around in our garden again!

What else has happened since last…? At the weekend, I saw Jessica running toy cars across the floor for the first time – a bit hesitantly, but she’s discovered that she can use the wheels (and that toy cars are good for other things than just putting in her mouth…!), which we’re quite chuffed with. She still loves her little toy Miffy, when we play peek-a-boo ourselves or with her dolls or soft toys and she still likes to topple any towers we build using cups or building blocks, and to throw the pieces from her jigsaw puzzle as far behind her as possible. And she’s still very keen on her books. She will now happily walk up to her toy box, grab the side for support and choose any toys she wants out of it herself. The washing machine isn’t quite as interesting anymore, but she loves opening the door to the oven – and leaving it open for us to walk into (it opens vertically)…!

Her fourth tooth (top, front right) came through Tuesday 5 February, so she’s now got two little pearly-whites at the top and two at the bottom…!

Gabriella

Friday evening was my first day back at work and Jessica’s first full day at nursery. Jessica decided to sleep for a little bit longer than normal that morning, so I had lots of time to run around and sort out her food, my work stuff and other last-minute things. The hand-over at nursery was very efficient (though friendly). I’d written a sheet with notes on Jessica’s routines and behaviour regarding eating, sleeping, etc., which I handed over with her and her bag, kissed her good-bye and then I was off to the station. No time to think much about the fact that I’d be parted from her all day, which probably was just as well…!

I knew it’d take me a while to get back from work. Ian was fetching her from nursery, as he will every Thursday and Friday when she’s there, and sadly I didn’t get to see Jessica before he put her to bed. I was missing her loads and wanted to give her a kiss and cuddle… The nursery staff had told Ian that Jessica had slept at 10.15 to 11.35am. Later they had tried to put her in the cot for an afternoon nap as well (as I’d told them Jessica normally sleeps for a couple of hours and she had seemed tired) but that had been unsuccessful. As a result, she was of course really tired at the end of the day and went to sleep a bit earlier than usual. Unfortunately, I think this might be the pattern for the days that I’m working: I won’t get back from work in time to see her before Ian puts her to bed… (Hopefully she won’t see me as the baddie, handing her away in the mornings – then Daddy realises she’s gone and comes to the rescue…!)

I arrived home only minutes after Ian had put Jessica in bed, which meant that Ian could dash off to fetch my sister Malin, who’d just landed at Gatwick, flying from Stockholm Arlanda. This meant of course that Malin and Jessica didn’t get to see each other that evening either. But Jessica was up at 6am the following morning, and after she’d had her breakfast, wash and change, Malin was awake to and keen to see her.

Over the Day Saturday, Malin and I went into London to go shopping, to Upton Park and central London (Oxford Street/Tottenham Court Road), while Ian was looking after Jessica. We made sure to come home in good time in the evening, though, to spend time with Jessica and the following day we had no other plans, so Malin and Jessica got as much time together as possible. They seemed to really enjoy each other’s company, with lots of giggles on Jessica’s part. As Jessica’s cousin, Malin’s little boy, is only 3 months older than Jessica, Malin of course had plenty of up-to-date experience of kids Jessica’s age…! It was sad to see my sister go again – we don’t get anywhere near enough time together, but I was so pleased that she could stay with us for a couple of days and that Jessica got to see her again too.

Monday and Tuesday (4 & 5 February) this week, Jessica and I have been hiding out at Ian’s parents, as they’re busy putting in new windows in our house. They’ve done the bathroom, living room, Jessica’s room and our bedroom so far, and it’s staggering the amount of condensation there ISN’T collecting on our window panes now…! Today is supposedly the day for the back door and hallway window. As the house is very unpleasant (freezing!) to stay in with big gaping holes in it all day, Jessica’s farmor and farfar have kindly offered us refuge. As Jessica loves it here, we’re both enjoying the change of scenery (and hopefully we’re not getting under anyone’s feet – though, judging by the affectionate attention that Jessica’s receiving, it doesn’t seem that way…!).

Unfortunately our landlord has asked the window fitters to do another few jobs around the house, like checking and possible fixing the roof, which means they might be in there for the rest of the week, even if the windows are done by tomorrow. I’m keen to have our house back as soon as possible, so that I can get on with the things I need to do without worrying about other people being there, but the sooner the do things, the sooner they can finish, I guess. It’s just not knowing how close to Jessica’s birthday it’ll all get… Both Ian and I have taken a few days off and we’d rather be able to relax about our house in peace. (Plus it’d be the nice to have done some hoovering and tidying after all the work that’s been done – we’ve had to shift lots of things to make space around the windows and they’ll take time to put back in place.)

Saturday Ian reported that Jessica had pulled herself up in her cot for the first time. He’d come into her room and there she was standing up by the bars looking mightily pleased with herself. And Sunday the ‘trouble’ started… For the last few days, as we’ve laid her down in her cot for her day-time naps, she pulls herself up to standing within seconds, then bounces up and down, walks about the cot, kicking and dragging her pillow and muslin about and tries to reach things on shelves around the cot. If you lay her down again, she’s up before you even get the chance to put the blanket over her.

It wasn’t too bad Sunday, but yesterday – although she was evidently knackered – she insisted on pulling herself up again every time I lay her down, so at regular intervals I fished her out of the cot and bring her downstairs again for some play (just in case I was wrong and she wasn’t tired, after all – babies’ needs do change, so I was prepared that I could have been reading her signals wrong). When she finally went to sleep it was at ten to one – after I’d stroke her hair, let her suck my finger (something she’s not done since she was a little baby) and sung a lullaby (“Vyssjan lull”). At that point she had been awake for 7(!) hours and was shattered, with tears streaming down her face. As soon as she allowed herself to stay horizontal, she was asleep within minutes…

Today I managed to get her to fall asleep at 11am, sitting by her cot singing a lullaby again, and it was obvious that she was shattered. So I don’t think it’s her need for sleep that is changing, even though I’m sure that’ll happen and quite possibly soon: at the moment it’s the excitement of being able to stand up in the cot that’s mucking things up. Maybe when the novelty wears off, she’ll stay lying down in her cot and go back to her previous sleeping pattern again.

Gabriella