Friday (27th April) was a very exciting day, because that’s when I started breastfeeding Jessica again! Around mid-morning, I went to see the NCT breastfeeding counsellor, who put me at ease straight away with a big smile and a mug of tea. I’d been feeling a bit apprehensive about the whole thing (getting my hopes up but not wanting to be disappointed) and perhaps part of it was a certain amount of ‘stage fright’ too… We chatted for a little bit and when the counsellor asked me about Jessica’s behaviour, Jessica started to grumble a bit in her pram – almost as if on cue – so I picked her up for a practical demonstration.
It turned out to be only a few small but essential adjustments needed to give Jessica the right guidance and help her get in position. Part of it was my own attitude and expectations. But, to be fair, it’s hard when you’ve never really seen anyone breastfeed around you. I’m probably no exception in not having had much exposure to babies during my life – the last baby I held before my own was my younger brother and I was six at the time…! Previous to Jessica, I’d had no experience in taking care of a baby – such as changing nappies or even how to pick a baby up – and several other mums I’ve spoken to in my age have proved to have a very similar (lack of) experience. The counsellor and I talked a bit about how these natural things get hidden away in today’s Western society, to the point that a lot of people feel that they are un-natural.
Seeing how easy it was to breastfeed Jessica successfully with a bit of guidance, I did feel silly having given up on breastfeeding so soon, though – when it was obviously doable and all I’d needed was someone with experience and a bit of time to sit down with me and go through mine and Jessica’s particular situation… I should have asked for help sooner and not assumed that it was a lost cause. But the counsellor said that on the plus side I hadn’t persisted on my own and risked creating a situation where Jessica’s association with breastfeeding could only be frustration – then there wouldn’t have been any chance of going back. Also, I’d kept expressing, keeping the supply of milk going. The counsellor said that as it had been easy for me to express (a lot of mums find they can’t very well), I probably had quite a fast ‘let-down’ and obviously plenty of milk. And when she saw Jessica feed, she said that from Jessica’s jaw movements, Jessica appeared to take the milk in very efficiently, so there were no problems there.
Jessica finished the feed and rested contented on my lap, and it was so satisfying to know that she’d had a full meal without involving any pumps or bottles. If we can continue like this, it’ll save so much time in not having to express, sterilise equipment or bring bottles along everywhere, plus minimise the risk for me of suffering from engorgement (which really isn’t fun).
For the rest of the Friday and the weekend, I’ve so far breastfed – apart from the last evening feed. Jessica gets a bit grizzly in the evenings, when we’ve found it’s easier to feed her expressed milk from a bottle: then we know for definite how much milk she’s had and at which point her vocal complaints are unlikely to be about still being hungry. The added advantage with the evening feed being from a bottle is that Ian’s been taking care of this particular feed for quite a while now, so that I can get an earlier night – a routine I’m obviously keen to stick with…!
Gabriella