Jessica’s blog.

Jessica and I had a day just the two of us yesterday (Wednesday 14 March). My mother and father-in-law were meant to come over in the afternoon but I had to call them back and postpone, as Jessica was being very demanding: as soon as I put her down anywhere to do something else, she complained bitterly. I suspect that she’s suffering from trapped wind (I keep feeling bubbles inside her stomach and she often writhes, tenses up, pulls her legs up to her tummy and goes red in the face before she screams) and perhaps is trying to soothe this by feeding. Which means that there’s a lot of ‘stopping and starting’ – she’ll attach to feed then fall asleep on my lap a few minutes later seemingly not actually hungry – comfort feeding, basically. The reassuring thing is that she isn’t constantly screaming, so I’m assuming we’re not talking excrutiating and incessant pain… Started giving her Infacol again, as this should help ease the trapped wind by assisting her burping, but it does take a while to ‘kick in’ and I’ve been told it doesn’t always work. Our friend Anna told me that a teaspoon of boiled, cooled water worked wonders with her firstborn Gemma’s trapped wind, so I will certainly try that.

The breastfeeding is still a bit so-so, but at least Jessica hasn’t given up on it and does attach brilliantly sometimes. She’s still not getting enough food, though, so I’m pumping lots and there’s the odd bottle of formula too. Thanks very much for your comment on the ‘Feeding skills’ entry, Mia – I really appreciate it! It reassured me that I’m not being a bad or inadequate mum, there’s nothing wrong with topping up from a bottle, and mixing breast and bottle does work. Have found that as a new mum it’s easy to feel very alone sometimes, and what you hear from midwives and health visitors usually is in the realms of ‘in an ideal world’ scenarios, but it makes you think you have to keep pushing and pushing yourself and you’re doing something wrong if your experience doesn’t fit with that…

In the afternoon Jessica and I went out for our first walk together, for a bit of time out from the on/off feeding and some sunshine and fresh air. Funny how the simplest of things can make you feel really apprehensive… Just the thought of bringing the pram down the two flights of stairs and assembling it on my own and worries that the outing would turn into a complicated and time-consuming expedition had put me off going out without Ian for about a week. But it turned out to be a hassle-free and even enjoyable experience! Well, Jessica slept through most of it, but I relished getting out of the flat. Didn’t walk very far: just around the town centre and over to Redhill Memorial Park. Sat down on a bench and felt completely spaced out, mushy-brained and bleary-eyed. Am coping with the lack of sleep but, boy, do I miss our comfy bed and long, lovely, snoozy lie-ins sometimes…!

Jessica’s been smiling very regularly indeed from day 2 – it’s the loveliest smile in the world, with a little dimple on her left cheek, and it completely melts your heart every time…! We know, of course, that it can’t be intentional smiles at this stage – she’s just working out what her facial muscles are up to – but every time I see it I remember why we’re doing this, why it’s so completely worth it.

Gabriella

Yesterday (Monday 12th March) was a bit of a terrible day in a sense, which was mainly my fault… Had a visit from the health visitor around lunch time, which in itself was good and fine. The health visitor completed the hearing test, which had to be abandoned last week, for Jessica’s left ear and confirmed that her hearing was fine on this ear too. Also, Jessica was weighed again, and is now 4.26 kilos, so she is growing at a very good rate. Jessica’s breastfeeding skills have been a bit all over the place lately, this is partly thanks to top ups in the shape of some formula but increasingly expressed breastmilk.

I asked the health visitor for advice regarding the breastfeeding situation and she said that, really, I should feed from the bottle as little as possible to not discourage Jessica from feeding from the breast – the latter is more difficult, takes longer to feed and requires more effort from the baby, so Jessica might decide to reject breastfeeding and prefer the bottle if given the choice. The good piece of advice was to not despair as a lot of babies take up to a month to acquire good breastfeeding skills, and that it could’ve been the jaundice that put a spanner in the works by making Jessica extra sleepy and less inclined to make the necessary effort. The piece of advice that turned out not to be so helpful was that I should persist in trying to breastfeed Jessica and only bottle feed ‘if necessary’.

As a muddle-headed new mum, I made Jessica spend the whole afternoon trying to get full by breastfeeding alone. This left us both exhausted, me unable to do anything else that afternoon (unless I wanted a crying baby as soon as I put Jessica to the side – getting myself something to eat and drink was just about all else I managed), and Jessica unable to satisfy her hunger as the pace at which she was able to feed was not keeping up with the pace at which she was getting hungry again…

The heartbreak of seeing her so hungry finally made me come to my senses and I warmed up some expressed milk I had stored in the fridge from that morning and fed her from the bottle. She gulped it all down and was finally calm and happy… With advice from Ian and my sister, Jessica and I will have a go at the breastfeeding first every time she is asking for food, but I won’t let it go any longer than half an hour to an hour before I feed her from a bottle, if she’s not able to get enough in that time herself. Should it turn out that I have to express milk to feed her from the bottle for the next 6 months, so be it – I’d rather do that than have Jessica go hungry…!

A few more piccies of Jessica. (As a very biased mum: isn’t she lovely…?)

Gabriella

Another day of lovely sunshine last Sunday (11th March), so perfect for putting Jessica in the pram and walking over to Reigate for the christening get-together at our friends Phil and Anna. Jessica’s first time in a dress, as we felt it was a good occasion to look a bit extra smart, but we realised quite quickly that dresses on babies aren’t great from a practical point of view – it kept riding up whenever we picked her up or she wriggled about so we kept having to pull it down to save it covering her face. Perhaps best avoid dresses until she’s walking…

At the party – which, thanks to the amount of energetic toddlers and children, was a pretty boisterous affair – Jessica was, to her parents relief and delight, as good as gold and much admired. There was actually a queque of people waiting to have a cuddle with her…! Stuart confessed to an impressive track record of being able to make any baby scream by simply holding them, but Jessica put him to shame – she didn’t stir at all while in his arms.

All three of us managed to get something to eat and drink and it was nice to be able to be a bit more sociable again. But I must confess that I wasn’t the most eloquent conversationalist – my brain felt a bit fuzzy from lack of sleep and half the time I couldn’t quite find the words I needed (and did forget a name or two)… With so many parents present, though, all having been at that stage, people hopefully understood.

As it has been (and still is) a lovely, sunny day we decided walk over to Reigate with Jessica today. It was her first proper shopping trip, where she came into the shops with us, unlike before where Gabriella waited outside and I popped in to get whatever it was that we needed. She didn’t seem at all interested in any of the shops – let’s hope that lasts! The shops were mainly gift shops, as we were looking for something to give as a christening present tomorrow. Jessica also had a first visit to the butcher – not that that will happen very often, as we’re going to try to bring her up on a vegetarian diet. When we popped into Boots to pick up a few bits, Jessica was admired by one of the assistants, not that Jessica took any notice.
Thankfully Jessica didn’t decide that she was hungry until we got back home. We’d already had lunch in a cafe and she was quiet the entire time we were there. She didn’t really take any notice of that either.

The last few days, Jessica has been moving more, doing ‘star-jumps’ in her sleep. She has also taken to stretching her arms in the air, then letting them go limp resulting in her bopping herself in the face. The look of bewilderment after is such a picture! I guess she hasn’t quite realised that control of the arms is down to her… Jessica is definitely getting bigger, she has already outgrown a couple of her baby-gros.

From what people have said, we don’t think Jessica has colic. Gabriella started giving Infacol to Jessica a few days ago and she absolutely hated it. Her face was one of shock at first, then she looked at Gabriella as if to say “I can’t believe youre doing this to me!”. She then stuck her tongue out as if to try to scrape it off. Poor Gabriella felt like a terrible mum…

The photos below were taken yesterday. Neither of us had chance to post anything because now that I’m back at work, I won’t have so much time on my hands and Gabriella’s taking care of Jessica’s demands.

We’ve just given Jessica her second bath and are proud to say that it went a lot better than last week. Having used the duck thermometer we bought Jessica last week, we realised that it was probably too cold for her and that’s why she complained so bitterly. We’re not bad parents really…!
I would like to say that everything went perfectly, with no screaming or anything, but as Gabriella was about to take a photo of a blissful bathtime, Jessica chose that moment to add her own unique something to the water. Lovely…!

It appears that Jessica has aspirations of being an actress. Below you can see some pictures of various poses and expressions that she has been trying out.

Hopefully, we’ll get a chance to write tomorrow after the christening party, Jessica’s first big social event.

Ian.

Made yesterday a very quiet day with just me and Jessica at home. Also got to have that afternoon nap I had planned for yesterday but not managed to get due to the hospital trip. Jessica and I slept side by side on top of the covers of Ian’s and my bed. It was nice to have her beside me, being able to peer at her every so often to make sure that she was okay (which of course she was, but I’m a new Mum and I worry about the silliest things…!), and before I knew it I was as soundly asleep as her. Will try in earnest to get a proper nap every day when Jessica’s been fed and is sleeping. It was a nice sunny day outside and we probably should have gone out for a walk, but sleep had to take priority this time.

Unfortunately, last night ended up very similar to the night before the Sunday (4th). Jessica was trying to feed from about 9.30pm but wasn’t attaching properly and worked herself up into a state of frustration until she just cried and cried – absolutely heartrending… At around midnight, Ian was standing bleary-eyed in the kitchen sterilising a bottle for a formula feed while I was in the living room going through the list of singing, rocking, jigging, walking about, etc. to try to calm her down. Then I remembered reading somewhere that swaddling sometimes works to reassure a stressed baby, so I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Jessica with her arms tucked down her sides. Strangely, it worked almost instantly – she calmed right down and even decided to breastfeed in a very professional manner for at least five minutes. After we gave her a bit of formula (as we figured she must be very hungry at this point) she happily breastfed for another little while. Once she went to sleep, she slept through until 6.30am…Have heard about evening colic – not knowing what it is, I couldn’t say if that’s what we’re dealing with, but I understand that it involves a lot of crying in the evenings. (If anyone knows more about it or has some advice, that would be very much appreciated.)

Both Ian and I are feeling quite shattered at the moment, so have decided to minimise social life this week as much as possible. I had made some plans with people for this week but have had to get back to them to postpone for now. One day at the time is how I have to deal with things at the mo: Jessica has to come first and, secondly, I have to keep my energy levels up sufficiently to be able to take good care of her. Next week we’ll already be in week three of her life, which is quite amazing. Maybe things have settled a bit more by then (or probably not), but at least we’ll be getting there and can hopefully go out and about more very soon, as there is only so long one can stare at the same four walls and listen to ones own voice…

Gabriella

Not much time to post anything on the blog during the rest of Tuesday as it was off to the hospital again in the afternoon (mornings are taken up by feeds, Jessica having a wash and me having a shower and getting dressed – yes, it does take that long…!). We were due our last midwife appointment in the morning, but instead the lady who was scheduled to come around phoned. She asked if Jessica was still jaundiced; in that case she wanted to refer her to East Surrey Hospital (ESH) astraight away for more tests. Ian and I had thought that Jessica’s skin tone was looking healthier, but she was still a bit yellow and the white of her eyes had a definite yellow tinge to them, so the midwife phoned the hospital and made the arrangements for us. Ian’s parents were coming around to spend some time with me and Jessica in the flat, and to watch Jessica while I was having a nap, but now I had to ask them to give me and Jessica a lift to the Child Assessment Unit (CAU) again instead.

Like last time, we were seen pretty much straight away and asked a long list of questions regarding the pregnancy, birth, any medical conditions in the family and Jessica’s general feeding and sleeping habits. Jessica had gained a bit further weight, which meant that she was feeding as she should, and as she also seemed alert and her physical check-over was absolutely fine, the paediatrician said it was probably just a case of normal jaundice taking a few more days to clear, but they wanted to do a blood and a urine test just to make sure it was nothing more serious. Jessica was very co-operative throughout all the checks and even the blood being taken – the paediatrician had to squeeze her hand quite hard in order to get the drops he needed – although she did suck my little finger quite intensely during the latter. So little Jessica has now been back to hospital twice after the post-birth discharge and she’s already worn two plasters (and she’s nowhere near the ‘running around bumping her head and scraping her knee’ age…).

Before we left, I was told that no news was good news, as they didn’t have time to phone everyone up when there was no need for follow-up or treatment, but that I was very welcome to give them a call should I want to make sure. When I phoned back in the evening the blood test results were ready and I was told that although levels were slightly raised, as Jessica obviously still was a bit jaundiced, they were well within below any levels for concern. The urine test would be ready in 48 hours but I was adviced that as the blood test was fine this would not show anything different.

After the last referral and lot of jaundice tests, I guess Ian and I were a bit more cool headed about the whole thing and this time we were more inclined to think that it was a case of the midwife wanting to make sure rather than any real cause for concern. But it was still nice to have the confirmation.

Gabriella

Had quite a busy day yesterday, so no time to write the blog. After Jessica’s and mine last rise of the night at about 6.30-7.30am, with me changing her nappy, feeding her and then getting myself some breakfast and getting dressed, and Ian joining us a little while after, time seemed to just disappear until we had our first visitor just after 12 noon. At about 10-12 days after the birth the midwife discharges Mum and baby, who then get assigned a Health Visitor, a nurse specialising in child care for the ages up until 5 years. Due to Jessica’s jaundice, though, we haven’t been discharged by the midwife team just yet, as they wanted have another look at her today Tuesday to see how well it had cleared.

Our Health Visitor seemed a very friendly, pleasant lady (much like all the midwives, really). She went through a bit of what she can support us with, and gave us a few more information leaflets and a copy of the official NHS book about child care from after birth to age 5. Then it was time for Jessica’s hearing test. Jessica rested on Ian’s lap and very helpfully stayed asleep while the little ‘probe’ was put in her ear. The Health Visitor explained that the device makes a noise and then measures the echo produced by the baby’s inner ear, which gives a reading showing how well the baby can hear on each ear. Jessica’s right ear checked out fine, but two tests for the left ear were incomplete and need redoing. The Health Visitor said this could be due to wax or residue still left in Jessica’s ear from birth and we arranged an appointment for her to come around again in a week’s time.

In the afternoon we had an appointment at the registry office in Reigate to register (folkbokföra) Jessica’s birth. We’d decided to walk over there with the pram and enjoy some fresh air at the same time. As new, first time parents, though, we hadn’t quite estimated enough time to get ready, including a tactical feed and nappy change, and it all got a bit rushed before we were out the door… Hopefully we’ll become a bit more savvy about things like that. Jessica was being very obliging though and seemed to enjoy the rocking of the pram during the walk, just lying there looking at us and the world around (however much she could see of it from inside the carry cot) with her big, dark blue eyes.

The registry office was very hot and dry and Jessica got a bit grizzly when we saw the registrar. Ian held her on his lap and kept her attention while the paperwork was completed and we got the shorter and full certificates (the latter is needed for things like passport applications) and the pink form to register her with our GP’s surgery. Then we had to do a bit of an impromptu feed in the waiting room to appease Jessica before the stroll home – I sat down as far into a corner as I could with Ian strategically standing between me and the doors. After coming back home both Ian and I could feel it in our legs – Ian estimated we’d walked about 4 miles, which is an amazing amount of exercise compared to what we’ve had for at least 2 weeks…!

In the evening a couple of friends popped over with their little boy to say hello and meet Jessica. They’d very kindly brought a lasagne along – unfortunately Ian had already put dinner on, as we had some veg in the fridge that needed ‘using up’ and we’d planned a hot pot, which would take quite some time in the oven. It was great to get to see some more of our friends, though – it’s easy to start to feel a bit isolated with everything by necessity being focussed on Jessica’s needs and there not being much time left for much else. All three of us still need any visits to be more of the ‘short and sweet’ variety though, as we’re still getting into things and are pretty well knackered with it. But all our friends seem understanding of that – and hopefully don’t take it personally if our energy levels are flagging…!

Gabriella

No visitors for Jessica today. Only the midwife (yet another different one!) who wasn’t overly concerned about Jessica’s jaundice. The midwife weighed Jessica (without Jessica weeing all over the scales again) and she now weighs 4.06kg so a healthy increase over the last two days (both Gabriella and I suspect that the calibration on the scales used on Friday was out). Either way at least it confirms that she is feeding properly. Jessica really wasn’t too keen on feeding yesterday evening and it took until gone 1am for Gabriella to get her to feed at all, the previous one being at 6pm. Eventually after having some formula she did breastfeed. Don’t know whether Jessica was objecting to the houmous that Gabriella had for lunch. What a fussy diner…!

Despite it being horribly rainy weather today, we took Jessica out again in the Baby Björn – so much easier than having to hump the pram downstairs. It wasn’t anywhere exciting, just to the shops and she slept the entire time. We did buy something for Jessica in Mothercare though (sort of): a duck bath thermometer. Maybe she’ll enjoy bath time a bit more now…

Gabriella’s having a much needed nap as I write this and Jessica, aka the Milk Monster, is half asleep on my lap, making strange but adorable noises. Hmmm and now nappy-filling ones, not quite so adorable… Which means that I should sign off and investigate.

Ian.

I’ve added a link from the blog to a gallery of Jessica’s photos. This will contain all the photos that appear in the blog and more.  I’ve only put up the blog ones from February so far. There is also a clip of Jessica hiccuping. I’m not able to post the clip in the blog itself, as the file exceeds the size limit allowed (I might be able to change this, but I’ll have to look through all the code).

Ian.

Another first: Jessica had her first bath early this evening. General advice is to not bathe the baby too soon after birth or too often, and to not use any lotions, baby oils or soap for the first month. Ian filled up the bath while I wrapped Jessica in a towel. We washed her face first, then her hair over the bath, and then came the big moment: how would she like being put in the bath…? Not very well, as it turned out. She was screaming constantly from when we dipped her in to when she’d been swaddled in another towel and dried. Not until I started rubbing her hands and feet with olive oil (the latest midwife had recommended this, and this only, for baby’s dry skin) did she calm down.

In one of the baby ‘instruction manuals’ we’ve been referring to it says that a bath once a week is sufficient, unless the baby really enjoys it. I think it’s safe to say we’ll be sticking with the once a week thing – partly too as Ian doesn’t come home from work until 7.30-8pm week day evenings and we’d feel safer being the two of us bathing her together.

Many, many thanks to everyone that has sent Jessica cards and pressies – we’ve really enjoyed all your greetings and well-wishes! In addition to the gifts shown below, Jessica’s also received gift vouchers and money – the latter will go into a savings account for her, which we will open for her as soon as we’ve registered her birth.

Gabriella